A man goes into a bank

[gilaet]

Goes up to a white-haired lady by the desk and goes, "Yeah, I wanna open a fucking bank account."
The woman goes, "What did you say?"
He said, "I said I wanna open a fucking bank account."
She goes, "You better watch your language or I'm gonna get the manager."
He says, "Why? 'Cause I wanna open a fucking bank account?"
So she storms off, gets the manager.
Manager walks over to the man.
He goes, "What seems to be the trouble here, sir?"
And he says, "I wanna open a fucking bank account for $500,000."
And the bank manager says, "Oh, and is this cunt giving you a hard time?"

[Lumpy]

Meh

[Ryan Lever]

[Scott]

A boy accidentally walks in on his mother taking a shower. Curious he points to her vagina and says "What's that mommy?" Thinking quickly she said "Oh, that's where Daddy hit me with an axe." “Good shot!” replied the boy, “Right in the cunt!”

[gilaet]

A man comes home to his wife.
He goes, "Honey, pack your bags. I just won the lottery."
And she goes, "What shall I pack?"
He goes, "I don't care. Just pack and get the fuck out."

[Lumpy]

Just fucking stop already.....geez

[gilaet]

A little boy comes home.
He says, "Dad, I got my first blowjob."
The father goes, "How was it?"
He goes, "Tasted awful."

[MrWarmth]

I just came back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother in law to the airport

[artiesoffspring]

Just fucking stop already.....geez

Wait a tick…*repack???

[Lumpy]

Please dont add to this abortion.

[artiesoffspring]

I just came back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother in law to the airport

Lmao. I love it.

[gilaet]

How do you get a faggot to fuck a woman?
Fill her cunt up with shit.

[Phil McKrakin]

[Phil McKrakin]

yep

[MrWarmth]

Johnnie: "Yes teacher. A big motherfucking rat with a fucking cock THIS fucking big!"

[gilaet]

This thread has class.
You can't buy that.

[artiesoffspring]

Johnnie: "Yes teacher. A big motherfucking rat with a fucking cock THIS fucking big!"

Now you're freaking me out. That friend of my dad I was telling you about told me that Dirty Johnny joke. I was 16 at the time and had just finished a huge bong rip. funniest thing I heard that year.

[MrWarmth]

Bob Hope: "Hey Here we are in Danang! Gateway to Hell!....Grrrrrrr"

[artiesoffspring]

This thread has class.
You can't buy that.

I'm not in the market.

[Scott]

On a rainy day, an little Indian from a tribe goes to his chief and asks, "Chief, how do you name all the people of our tribe?"

The Chief replies,"Oh, it quite easy. When baby born, I look first thing I see moving in wilderness, and name baby just that."

"How so?" asks the Indian.

"Well," replies the Chief, "if I see coyote running in field, I name baby Running Coyote, if I see bull sit, I name baby Sitting Bull."

"Oh, I see now" says the Indian.

Then the Chief turns to the Indian and says, "Well, why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?"