There is this fat moon-pie-faced ugly version of Patton Oswalt motherfucker next door who is pissing me off two separate ways!

1.) He is fucking this chick who looks like Phoebe Cates tripped on a banana peel and fell into a swimming pool of heavenliness and barely escaped with her life.

2.) This Mallomar-headed motherfucker rides a shitty motorcycle that when it takes off, sounds like a Nazi deathcamp boxcar crashing into a locomotive full of gasoline. Today the fucking thing doesn't work so it literally sounds like one of our trendy Rampaging Shooters is going postal on our complex!

I think I need to exercise my fuggin' SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHTS on this melonhead!