Push comes to shove, who do you want as a Bro? Artie or Howard?

**TelegramSam** · 02-08-2013, 05:30 PM

I started this poll because I just want to know if people on this board hate Artie as much as they claim, and want to put their money where their mouth is.

Let's think about this logically: Artie will probably throw things at you, accuse you of stealing money, maybe even stay about your house and shit in your bed or piss all over your car. If he's really ticked off/coming down, he may wish AIDS on your kids or out your closeted nephew for going to gay day at DisneyLand. BUT, he will take your calls even if you're a total loser, give you a ton of money to shut you up, and maybe let you open for him at a gig even if you are an awful comic.

Ol' Wiggie will throw you under the bus for no good reason, but especially if he can advance his career to do it. If you try to succeed in life by escaping his grasp, he will shit all over you and seek vengeance for the rest of your life. He MIGHT give you a one hour 101 show, but will shit all over it and degrade you despite it's being the only quality thing on the channel. He also will skip all functions you invite him to, blow you off to hang out with C list celebrities and Hamptonites, and attempt to destroy your self esteem by reminding you that you are nothing to him and without him. AND to top it all off, throw you into some half assed dating game that is centered around your being a loser and then pass it off as if he were doing you a favor.

So, who've you got?

**Art** · 02-08-2013, 05:32 PM

Artie. Howard is incapable unless you are rich, connected or have a beer can cock.

**Bye You!** · 02-08-2013, 05:35 PM

Originally Posted by Art

Artie. Howard is incapable unless you are rich, connected or have a beer can cock.

agreed. but even then, i don't think Howard is incapable of being or having a "bro."

There isn't a single person he wouldn't sell out. Not one.

**beetlejosh** · 02-08-2013, 05:35 PM

I met Artie at the Kimmel show a while back...he gave me the 3 parter homie handshake. Artie's a "bro."

**Smell Muhfinger** · 02-08-2013, 05:35 PM

Neither, they're both pricks.

**beetlejosh** · 02-08-2013, 05:39 PM

Originally Posted by Smell Muhfinger

Neither, they're both pricks.

Yes, but when push comes to shove...Artie wins by a wide margin. (no pun intended

)

**Gretsch Man** · 02-08-2013, 05:42 PM

I'm pretty sure none of us has anything at all in common with Wiggy. The guy is a washed up elitist douche.

**Bye You!** · 02-08-2013, 05:43 PM

How sad when you lose unanimously to an admitted lying drug addict.

Howard is such a lowlife scumbag.

**Rocinante** · 02-08-2013, 05:48 PM

At this point, Artie is like the gay captain on The Sopranos. You would want to borrow a lot of money from him because you know that he will be dead before you can pay him back.

**Howards Wig** · 02-08-2013, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by Bye You!

How sad when you lose unanimously to an admitted lying drug addict.

Howard is such a lowlife scumbag.

I think one reason the Artie chair is empty, is Howie was very insecure about Artie being the fan favorite.

If anything, Howie has become even a bigger douche since then with such things like eating red meat means you are not evolved. Those Hampton bowling parties must be an awesome time.

**Bye You!** · 02-08-2013, 05:50 PM

Originally Posted by Howards Wig

I think one reason the Artie chair is empty, is Howie was very insecure about Artie being the fan favorite.

If anything, Howie has become even a bigger douche since then with such things like eating red meat means you are not evolved. Those Hampton bowling parties must be an awesome time.

agree 100%

**HowieStearn** · 02-08-2013, 05:53 PM

Artie called wig on the bro shit because it was total shit and he knew it. what happened next proved it

**Tom Doyers** · 02-08-2013, 06:57 PM

"duh"
?

**Ice Hole** · 02-08-2013, 07:05 PM

Both seem like huge Pains in the Ass. But I voted Artie. Artie seems more human than Howard. There's Compassion there. Howard has turned into a total sociopath.

**DogStar69** · 02-08-2013, 07:53 PM

Artie will stand by a friend. Howard won't and he'll be busy making up an excuse for it.

**mrd160** · 02-08-2013, 08:13 PM

Neither...both seem like horrible people

**joyceface** · 02-08-2013, 09:22 PM

Hard question due largely in part (no pun intend) in Artie just being so erratic and has a LOT of baggage! but I love my Artie

He's a bro.

**joyceface** · 02-08-2013, 09:26 PM

By the way I JUST Tuned into the Artie Lange Show on directv. He was telling a story and guess what?? I LAUGHED AT IT. It was fun and funny! boy I miss him.

**NotMyBro** · 02-08-2013, 09:29 PM

Artie would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. Howard wouldn't. Artie's done dozens of benefits for people in need and didn't ask for any compensation. Artie really has a heart of gold. Howard doesn't have one.

**Tom Doyers** · 02-08-2013, 09:36 PM

Originally Posted by NotMyBro

Artie would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. Howard wouldn't. Artie's done dozens of benefits for people in need and didn't ask for any compensation. Artie really has a heart of gold. Howard doesn't have one.

Howard selflessly did a calendar photoshoot for NSAL and cover photoshoot for Hamptons Magazine