Mitch Hedberg Joke

[Lou Cypher]

I was clearing the pictures off my phone so I can take some blizzard shots later and I totally forgot about taking this. It made me burst out laughing at the supermarket. Hedberg fans will know why.

[joyceface]

He was a really funny guy.

[Art]

RIP funnyman.

[Butcher]

Howard invented Mitch Hedberg

[mattyfishrip197]

what about the dufranes.......anyone seen the dufranes

[Beth143nacho]

Stoplights are not like bananas. For Stop lights, green means go, yellow means slow down and red means stop. For bananas, green means stop, yellow means slow down and red means where the fuck did I get these bananas..RiP mitch

[Beth143nacho]

Ifr you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit -- Mitch

[Kilroy]

I work for a vending company (for 17 years now). This has been my email signature here at work for over 10 years now:

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.- Mitch Hedberg

[Lou Cypher]

Stoplights are not like bananas. For Stop lights, green means go, yellow means slow down and red means stop. For bananas, green means stop, yellow means slow down and red means where the fuck did I get these bananas..RiP mitch

Thank you.

I went to jump in the shower and thought maybe I should've quoted the joke, but...nah. I knew someone would.

[mattyfishrip197]

I work for a vending company (for 17 years now). This has been my email signature here at work for over 10 years now:

I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.- Mitch Hedberg

now thats funny right there

[Dominic GPS]

Every picture is of you when you were younger!

[Spazzmatazz]

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You would never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.

[Kilroy]

Thank you.

I went to jump in the shower and thought maybe I should've quoted the joke, but...nah. I knew someone would.

Don't forget his other banana joke:

"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, I said "No, but I want a regular banana later, so ... yeah".

[Spazzmatazz]

When I think of something that's funny, I go get a pen and I write it down. Or if the pen's too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of ain't funny.

[Spazzmatazz]

I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens...

[ArtiesCumRag]

saw Mitch when he was on tour with Stephen lynch Sept. 2004 in madison,wi . about 6 months before he died .. i was 3 rows from stage . i remember his set like yesterday .. r.i.p

[One Fat Vegan]

Waahhh Mitch Hedberg is such a genius wahhh

[Chimney Portions]

On fishing shows they catch the fish and then they let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.

[Spazzmatazz]

“I would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.”

[Kilroy]

saw Mitch when he was on tour with Stephen lynch Sept. 2004 in madison,wi . about 6 months before he died .. i was 3 rows from stage . i remember his set like yesterday .. r.i.p

One of my best memories was seeing Mitch live at Charlie Goodnights in Raleigh NC around 99 or 2000. I'm friends with Jon Reep, who won Last Comic Standing, he started at Goodnight's when he was a student at NCSU. He was living in LA then but came to Raleigh one weekend to visit all of us, I came in from Hickory. I saw that Mitch was at Goodnights that weekend and when we got to our friends apartment, I said "We need to see Mitch, he's brilliant". Jon knew Mitch's comedy, but other than he and myself, nobody else in our group of friends knew of him. Jon made a call to the owner of the club, that night we go down there, walk in the back door, it was like that scene from Goodfella's when Henry takes his future wife through the back of the restaurant We go through the back, come up to the office, the owner gives Jon a big hug, snaps his fingers and a couple of dudes pull out a table, put it up front of the club, bring us food and free beers, etc. Jon went up and did like a 5 min set and announced the opening comic, we sat there drinking and eating for free all night, watched Mitch KILL on stage, he was on fire, all my friends just fell in love with his comedy that night...

I had hoped to meet him later on that evening but Jon went back and said hello to him but I think Mitch was in one of his drug hazes and I never go to see him, we ended up going to another club after that...but for that ONE NIGHT I got to live the life of a celebrity, or at least a celebrity's friend...lol..