New Setup & Punchline Bit on HSS

[Benjamen]

Any example of this you can post? I haven't heard any post-2010 broadcasts.

Here's king of late night Johnny Carson slaying Ed with some of the "monologue jokes" Howard has read lately:

[RockRollGhost]

^^^

[johnnynoname]

I've always been able to roll with the Stern show's changes over the years (love the Artie years the most, but still enjoy the current run). But this new "bit" Howard does where he sets up a series of softballs and delivers incredibly obvious punchlines may be my least favorite thing ever on the show.

Anyone else notice this? Is it a Benjy bit?

lol at "enjoying" the current product

you don't "enjoy" it...you "put up" with it much like you put up with your fat wife who used to be a hot piece of ass

[Junior]

Howard said Wendy Williams was naked for PETA. He said she's very proud of that. Howard said Benjy contacted PETA and they told him to keep wearing fur.

Howard said Ozzy Osbourne turned 64. He said he's not sure if it was today or the other day. Fred said he thinks it's today. Howard said he hopes he doesn't start talking weird like some old people.

Howard said North Korea has said they discovered that unicorns exist. Howard said he's afraid he's going to end up with one when Beth adopts one. Howard said he would imagine it would be shitting all over his floor.

Howard said none of the guys on the staff won the Powerball. Howard said he's sad to report that he'll be working with them for another 3 years.

Howard said he read about middle eastern men getting moustache implants to give themselves thick moustaches. Howard said they're jealous of Ronnie Mund.

[Nemo]

Howard said Wendy Williams was naked for PETA. He said she's very proud of that. Howard said Benjy contacted PETA and they told him to keep wearing fur.

Howard said Ozzy Osbourne turned 64. He said he's not sure if it was today or the other day. Fred said he thinks it's today. Howard said he hopes he doesn't start talking weird like some old people.

Howard said North Korea has said they discovered that unicorns exist. Howard said he's afraid he's going to end up with one when Beth adopts one. Howard said he would imagine it would be shitting all over his floor.

Howard said none of the guys on the staff won the Powerball. Howard said he's sad to report that he'll be working with them for another 3 years.

Howard said he read about middle eastern men getting moustache implants to give themselves thick moustaches. Howard said they're jealous of Ronnie Mund.

(Insert Medicated Robin not knowing this is the pre-pre-written joke portion of the show....and Howards horrible delivery!)

[Benjamen]

The summaries from MarksFriggin perfectly capture Howard's delivery:

Howard read about the most pirated movie last year which was Django Unchained. Howard wondered where the Medicated Pete movie was in that list.

Howard read about how 2 billion tons of food is thrown away every year. Howard said no one there is throwing away any food.

Howard said he feels guilty after jerking off but he realized that JD must feel broke after doing it.

Howard said that they found a loaded cannon in Central Park and they say it's a very dangerous thing. Howard said that's not the most dangerous thing in Central Park at night.

Howard said a stripper died from falling off a balcony during a lap dance. Howard wondered if they had her funeral yet. He said they must need to bury her in a 12 foot long casket with those giant shoes on.

Howard said the Lingerie Football League is gone. Howard said maybe they could have Lingerie Congress or Lingerie garbage collectors.

Howard said there was a story about how Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have sex 7 times a day. He said that would explain why they look so out of it in every interview.

Howard said that someone got killed on a street corner for doing sign language. Someone thought he was doing gang signs and shot the guy. Howard said this is what happens when we don't ban deaf people from the streets.

Howard said the woman who runs Hewlett Packard got a $15 million bonus even though the company didn't do so well. Howard said they should hire her there at Sirius. He said you should see the kind of bonuses they get there.

Here's how a pro does it:

[ants b list lvr]

QUOTE=Benjamen;3349346]The summaries from MarksFriggin perfectly capture Howard's delivery:

Howard read about the most pirated movie last year which was Django Unchained. Howard wondered where the Medicated Pete movie was in that list.

Howard read about how 2 billion tons of food is thrown away every year. Howard said no one there is throwing away any food.

Howard said he feels guilty after jerking off but he realized that JD must feel broke after doing it.

Howard said that they found a loaded cannon in Central Park and they say it's a very dangerous thing. Howard said that's not the most dangerous thing in Central Park at night.

Howard said a stripper died from falling off a balcony during a lap dance. Howard wondered if they had her funeral yet. He said they must need to bury her in a 12 foot long casket with those giant shoes on.

Howard said the Lingerie Football League is gone. Howard said maybe they could have Lingerie Congress or Lingerie garbage collectors.

Howard said there was a story about how Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have sex 7 times a day. He said that would explain why they look so out of it in every interview.

Howard said that someone got killed on a street corner for doing sign language. Someone thought he was doing gang signs and shot the guy. Howard said this is what happens when we don't ban deaf people from the streets.

Howard said the woman who runs Hewlett Packard got a $15 million bonus even though the company didn't do so well. Howard said they should hire her there at Sirius. He said you should see the kind of bonuses they get there.

Here's how a pro does it:







[/QUOTE]

[Willy Pfister]

Fan since the early 90's

Hate everything wiggy has become and rarely listen (tune in periodically hoping to catch Beffs eulogy)

ALL former respect gone, forgotten and replaced with scorn.

All of this considered, I still think these monologues are a "put - on"

He CANNOT have fallen this far

[rilagent]

Fan since the early 90's

Hate everything wiggy has become and rarely listen (tune in periodically hoping to catch Beffs eulogy)

ALL former respect gone, forgotten and replaced with scorn.

All of this considered, I still think these monologues are a "put - on"

He CANNOT have fallen this far

Not only can he, but he has.


I love Dawgs. You photoshop masters with the Johnny Carson jokes had me laughing. Hats off to you all!

[Scarfo]

Howard's monologue is way hackier than Carson.

When Carson's joke bombed, people would let him know. Carson didn't get compulsory laughter from in-studio slaves.

[Scarfo]

[KOAM]

Howard's monologue is way hackier than Carson.

When Carson's joke bombed, people would let him know. Carson didn't get compulsory laughter from in-studio slaves.

See, now THAT'S funny!!!

[KOAM]

The summaries from MarksFriggin perfectly capture Howard's delivery:

Howard read about the most pirated movie last year which was Django Unchained. Howard wondered where the Medicated Pete movie was in that list.

Howard read about how 2 billion tons of food is thrown away every year. Howard said no one there is throwing away any food.

Howard said he feels guilty after jerking off but he realized that JD must feel broke after doing it.

Howard said that they found a loaded cannon in Central Park and they say it's a very dangerous thing. Howard said that's not the most dangerous thing in Central Park at night.

Howard said a stripper died from falling off a balcony during a lap dance. Howard wondered if they had her funeral yet. He said they must need to bury her in a 12 foot long casket with those giant shoes on.

Howard said the Lingerie Football League is gone. Howard said maybe they could have Lingerie Congress or Lingerie garbage collectors.

Howard said there was a story about how Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson have sex 7 times a day. He said that would explain why they look so out of it in every interview.

Howard said that someone got killed on a street corner for doing sign language. Someone thought he was doing gang signs and shot the guy. Howard said this is what happens when we don't ban deaf people from the streets.

Howard said the woman who runs Hewlett Packard got a $15 million bonus even though the company didn't do so well. Howard said they should hire her there at Sirius. He said you should see the kind of bonuses they get there.

[Nemo]

Monday Stern will have a batch of (stale) Lance Armstrong & Manti Te'o jokes.
What will they be?
Remember Manti is a minority so the jokes will focus on his religion and the obvious JD Harmeyer punchlines.

[Art]

Monday Stern will have a batch of (stale) Lance Armstrong & Manti Te'o jokes.
What will they be?
Remember Manti is a minority so the jokes will focus on his religion and the obvious JD Harmeyer punchlines.

But remember...Te'o might possibly be a gay man who consistantly lied about his love for a woman. So far as I can tell, Howard will identify with this odd scenario completely.

[jimbronie]

Shuli is working out the jokes right now on jays show.

[JaredWD]

I guess I should applaud them for trying... but the material is just not funny.

It sort of works in an audience setting, because you get instant response and laughter... but here, it is just Howard stammering through lame punchlines... followed by total silence, or an occasional (forced) laugh from Fred. You can hear Howard flipping through the pages, pausing, and delivering the same inane drivel with zero conviction.. over and over. HE doesn't even believe in the material.

Letterman has a staff of Harvard grads writing jokes... and Howard has Shuli. Don't even bother.. it is just cringe-worthy; Howard should be embarrassed.

[PiggyMohammad]

I wish Fred would play that bass player on David Letterman show sound effect "vrrrROOOM" after every joke. Or maybe play the Tonight Show theme after a series of Howard's one-liners.

Here's king of late night Johnny Carson slaying Ed with some of the "monologue jokes" Howard has read lately:

vrrrROOOM