Just got attacked by a pack of wild Zipperheads!!!

**Swayze** · 01-16-2013, 10:14 AM

I was doing my personal shopping at Home Hardware - mainly looking for a new plunger, and these FUCKING asian punks came into the store.

I pretended that I didn't notice them but they started walking straight towards me like they knew me. They started asking me all kinds of questions about plungers and my bowel movements, being really rude like. Then one of the zippers got down on all fours behind me and the leader pushed me over him and thats when they all started bootfucking me.

I'm in the emergency room now. Stiches, cracked ribs, my best shirt got totally torn off so I have no shirt to wear.

**Chriza** · 01-16-2013, 10:15 AM

**DrivenByDemons** · 01-16-2013, 10:15 AM

That's why I only travel with my posse of waterheads.

**Avery** · 01-16-2013, 10:16 AM

We gotta do something about these pan-faced animals!

Time to take out the trash.

**Swayze** · 01-16-2013, 10:20 AM

Worst part is I was strapped for such an occassion. See below.

But I couldn't get to my weapons in time as I was "swarmed" like you hear on the news.

They took my Sears gift card.

**wigtropolis** · 01-16-2013, 10:26 AM

are you ok?

**Kanye West** · 01-16-2013, 10:27 AM

Originally Posted by Chriza

this

**Swayze** · 01-16-2013, 10:28 AM

Originally Posted by wigtropolis

are you ok?

I'm shaking right now

So no

I"m not OK

**Schmoopy** · 01-16-2013, 10:41 AM

Originally Posted by Swayze

I'm shaking right now

So no

I"m not OK

Link

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Avery** · 01-16-2013, 10:45 AM

Originally Posted by Schmoopy

Link

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's a sentence underlined for emphasis.

**Popeye Saavedra** · 01-16-2013, 10:49 AM

**fletchman71** · 01-16-2013, 10:52 AM

You need to change your name because the real Swayze would have torn the throats out of those zipperheads' necks. You are a disgrace to the Swayze name.