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  1. #21
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    Gwarn1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Napoleon V View Post
    I expect a 50/50 distribution of funny/serious responses.
    I hada phone interview for the job I have now. I was nervous as shit and I remembered that a study showed that viewing pictures of naked women was very calming to men. So when the interview was about to beging I loaded a web page of naked chicks on. The iPad to look at while I answered the questions. I think it worked.

    The funny thing was about two months later I met the lady that interviewed me, she was a real hard ass in the interview but had loosened up a bit. She came clean that she conducted the interview from home and said to me "you wouldn't believe what I looked like during the interview, I had on a robe and fuzzy slippers."

    I just smiled nodded and thought of thats a real hoot, you should of seen me on my end of the phone answering your questions staring at 18 year old beaver hunt photos.

  2. #22
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    Scott's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Splash View Post
    This question has been on my mind a lot lately. Buck Angel has never had a dick and still doesnt. Bailey Jay has never had a vag and still doesnt. Its blowin my minfpd up.
    The answer would have to be Buck Angel. At least there's a vagina. I couldn't do a chick with a dick no matter how hot she is. I'd rather just jump of a bridge though.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nikkerz View Post
    That homo would fuck me in my ass with his 3 inch AROUND cock, and I couldn't get my pussy licked ONCE...and I showered WAAAAY more than he did.

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Gwarn1 View Post
    I hada phone interview for the job I have now. I was nervous as shit and I remembered that a study showed that viewing pictures of naked women was very calming to men. So when the interview was about to beging I loaded a web page of naked chicks on. The iPad to look at while I answered the questions. I think it worked.

    The funny thing was about two months later I met the lady that interviewed me, she was a real hard ass in the interview but had loosened up a bit. She came clean that she conducted the interview from home and said to me "you wouldn't believe what I looked like during the interview, I had on a robe and fuzzy slippers."

    I just smiled nodded and thought of thats a real hoot, you should of seen me on my end of the phone answering your questions staring at 18 year old beaver hunt photos.
    Does this start:

    Penthouse form,
    I never really thought these stories were real until.....
    "I had a phone interview for the job I have now. I was nervous as shit and I remembered that a study showed that viewing pictures of naked women was very calming to men. So when the interview was about to beging I loaded a web page of naked chicks on. The iPad to look at while I answered the questions. I think it worked."
    .....so the I slid my 10 inch cock in to her all ready soaking wet pussy as I squeezed her double DDs hard....

  4. #24
    Show a genuine interest in what the company does and how they can do it better.

    Be confident but polite.

    Speak in terms of solutions, never problems or complaints (with past jobs)

  5. #25
    Walk in, shit on the floor and force them to eat it, then they'll know you mean business.

  6. #26
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    crazypreacher's Avatar
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    Confidence. Act like you own the joint.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by UncaDollas View Post
    Walk in, shit on the floor and force them to eat it, then they'll know you mean business.
    This too.

  8. #28
    Ask for the job. This is so important, and hardly anybody does it. At the end of the interview, when they say "do you have any other questions for me" make one of your questions something like "How would my performance be measured/what would make you glad you hired me after 30 days, 6 months, a year?" Then when they answer that, give them the old "I want you to know that I want this job. I want to work here at XYZCorporation."

  9. #29
    And DO NOT forget to send a thank you email, and state why you would be a good fit for the company. Keep it short, but pointed.

  10. #30
    Saloon Untouchable
    Splash's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Engaged Chicken View Post
    Ask for the job. This is so important, and hardly anybody does it. At the end of the interview, when they say "do you have any other questions for me" make one of your questions something like "How would my performance be measured/what would make you glad you hired me after 30 days, 6 months, a year?" Then when they answer that, give them the old "I want you to know that I want this job. I want to work here at XYZCorporation."
    Buck Angel or Bailey Jay?

  11. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by Markijuano View Post
    Bring a pistol
    This is good advice. You also want to dress like an old-timey private investigator. Use a lot of outdated slang like dame and the bee's knees and 23 skidoo.

    They'll know you mean business.

  12. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by Engaged Chicken View Post
    And DO NOT forget to send a thank you email, and state why you would be a good fit for the company. Keep it short, but pointed.
    A couple of people have mentioned this. Folks my boss have interviewed did this. It's a nice gesture, but my boss barely noticed the emails in his inbox, it's so full and he's so busy.

    So my advice is, send the thank you in a hard copy letter. Better chance of the interviewer seeing it.

  13. #33
    abydes
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    After the interview, employers send ME thank you cards.

  14. #34
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    Tell them if they don't hire you, their kids heads will be on poles in the driveway when they get home. They'll know you are a self-starter that way.
    A train leaving every night..

  15. #35
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    Estocada's Avatar
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    Actually, I just got a new job and none of the typical shit worked. About 15 minutes into the phone deal, the guy said I was the fit. I was very strange-he handed me all the leverage on a silver platter right away. He had been looking since last April and I guess he just had a set idea as to what he wanted. I flew down to the location and we had lunch. Didn't really talk about the job at all. I think he just wanted to make sure I wasn't freakish looking.


    I didn't email him, send him a thank you card, or any of that shit.
    A train leaving every night..

  16. #36
    Outlaw
    GHP's Avatar
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    Look him in the eye. Smile when you talk. Tell him you LIKE the negroes
    Quote Originally Posted by Dawg View Post

    Mlaw, as long as I live I will never understand how you passed the bar. You are dumber than a fucking rock. I bet you fucking cheated your way through school.

  17. #37
    voice of reason
    FunnyFarm2's Avatar
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    I always just go in there and be myself. That has worked for me every time.

    The last job I got had 3500 applicants tested. That turned into 500 that moved on to another test. Out of that 500 they actually took 40 people for a final interview where 24 were offered jobs.

    A very slim chance to get in, but I was just myself and that has always seemed to work for me.

    They would rather hire a person that may not have all the skills but is a good person vs the person that knows it all but acts like prick.
    Ask me anything.

  18. #38
    Blah Blah Blah Blah, huh? Caster Fly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Napoleon V View Post
    I expect a 50/50 distribution of funny/serious responses.
    Ask tons of questions about their sexual harassment policies.
    “The death sentence provides a public service by allowing an inmate to make peace with God.” -Judge Edith Jones - New Orleans 5th Circuit Court of Appeals

  19. #39
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    Get the handshake right! Don't be a limp fish, but don't break every bone in my hand, either!

  20. #40
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    O Face's Avatar
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    Warm them up with a good pedofiile joke. That always goes over well

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