do you have any job interview tips?

[Napoleon V]

I expect a 50/50 distribution of funny/serious responses.

[Markijuano]

Bring a pistol

[FatKidSullivan]

Bring a pistol

This is good advice. You also want to dress like an old-timey private investigator. Use a lot of outdated slang like dame and the bee's knees and 23 skidoo.

They'll know you mean business.

[Ridic Too]

You interview them. They don't interview you.

[LonghornJ]

You interview them. They don't interview you.

This is true... though the "so what questions do you have for me" segment can be awkward with the "so how would you describe your management style" bullshit.

I figure now its best to just go in and lay your balls on the table and wait for the tongue to come out.

[Mr. Potato Head]

Eat a big can of beans the night before.

[Apple the cat]

Dress professionally for the job, be polite, research the company and the position you're applying for, and don't say fuck.

[Splash]

Dress professionally for the job, be polite, research the company and the position you're applying for, and don't say fuck.

Hey apple the cat? You a chick or gay dude?

[Apple the cat]

Hey apple the cat? You a chick or gay dude?

Neither one, Splash. Just gettin philosophical in my old age...

[Splash]

Neither one, Splash. Just gettin philosophical in my old age...

I see

[Ridic Too]

Neither one, Splash. Just gettin philosophical in my old age...

Let's see your pussy, whore.

[Apple the cat]

Let's see your pussy, whore.

[MatthewT]

Dress professionally for the job, be polite, research the company and the position you're applying for, and don't say fuck.

this, with a firm handshake and eye contact

[Splash]

0 funny/ 1 serious

[Markijuano]

What's your most offensive t shirt? Wear it

[Charon]

Send Thank You cards/emails to the people who interviewed you.

[UncaDollas]

The shit they sell online to beat a piss test doesn't work. Have some one whose has clean piss and use that. Keep it under your balls, so its body temperature. Use a little plastic bottle. Dont refrigerate, the fresher the better, attach at least an hour before you go in, don't throw out the container in the bathroom.

-You can use the piss of the opposite sex. It's against the law to test for sex.
-Unless it's prison or being a solider they cant watch you.
-They will test for tampering (golden seal and the others will show up, putting bleach on your fingers will show up, etc.)
The water will be off in the bathroom and the toilet will have blue stuff in it so you cant use that.


Another way to pass is overdosing on water.You'll be pissing every 5 seconds for 24 hrs, you'll get diaharrea and you may get water intoxication, but it does work. The water is going thru you so fast that it doesnt pick anything up.

Good luck-Hope you get the job and celebrate with a fatty!

[Avery]

Wear something that shows off your cleavage.

[Splash]

Would you rather bang Buck Angel:




Or Bailey Jay:

[Apple the cat]

Would you rather bang Buck Angel:




Or Bailey Jay:

Ack!!! Neither one, please (especially considering they both have or had dicks)!