The Whizzer of Schnozz
by Andrew Speller
Man, there sure are a lot of crazy rumours flying around town and on the internet about homegrown hockey hero, legend, thingy Brad Marchand.
Just weeks after the website stanleycupofchowder.com posted an unconfirmed story about Brad urinating on the floor of Foxwoods Casino - the same night Brad was photographed dancing shirtless on tables at a Foxwoods drinkery (Frank 616) - another similar story has surfaced, but this time, it (allegedly) took place much closer to home.
An August 2 posting on local lawyer Devin Maxwell’s blog (devin-maxwell.blogspot.com), entitled Brad Marchand, whiz kid, says Brad was booted out of an unidentified downtown Halifax bar for peeing on the floor, just hours after he finished with his Grand Marshalling duties at this year’s Natal Day Parade. It seems that Brad is especially proud of this, because he has posted the blog on his Facebook page.
Another source says the establishment that gave Brad the heave-ho was none other than newly opened upscale steakhouse Baton Rouge.
“According to witnesses, Marchand was loud and obnoxious throughout the evening, calling several staff members rude names and making sure everyone was aware of his status as a local celebrity and hero figure,” Devin reports.
Boasting about his celebrity status certainly seems par for the course. A quick check of @Bradmarshy63 - his official Twitter page - reveals no shortage of self-glorification.
“I run Boston, tell me I don’t,” he exclaimed on August 2, adding on August 7, “Anyone wanna give me tix to the Redsox game tonight?”
The following day he was looking for some girls:
“Where’s the closest strip club to Fenway?”
All of this debauchery, both real and alleged, comes following Brad’s much-celebrated Stanley Cup Championship win with the Boston Bruins. It’s odd how rumours such as these not only seem to keep following Brad around town, but how they seem to be coming more persistent and greater in stupidity. Someone should tell Brad that since he’s now a “celebrity,” he should try and live up to a higher standard.
It’s possible; after all, I never heard a rumour about Sidney Crosby urinating anywhere untoward.
Messages to Baton Rouge and the Bruins media spokesthingy were unanswered at presstime.
Dude yanks out his joint in front of unsuspecting people waiting in the terminal, and takes a piss on the floor.... Polluted drunk or not, you just don't do this kind of shit. It's a shame no one clocked his ass in mid-stream...F*cking asshole
Dude's a jagoff for sure but let's not pretend people pissing in public, drunk and disorderly or celebrities acting like morons is a new or generational thing.