Anybody else hate the "holidays"?

[bigbump]

Fuck...I have to cook a full turkey dinner, with all the sides...cooking and cleaning up for 8 hrs...I'd rather go to a movie on Xmas day with all the Indians and Jews and call it a day..
If only I had Beth's maid Maria to put up a tree...cook the dinner, and Maria's brother serve dinner..

You'll never miss it until it's gone.

[itpdude]

Yes, several times. One of them was later arrested for running a brothel from her home located on a golf course in a country club. Turns out she was a former Penthouse model and did some adult films. Hold on I'll see if the years old news story is still around and link it.

Man, a buddy of mine had a nice little construction business going on, mostly rehabbing kitchens and bathrooms. He had one job where he did a kitchen. When doing the measurements to bid the job, the husband and wife argued ferociously in front of him. He later won the job and went on over one early morning to get the project started. He knocked on the door, no answer, and waited. He saw the wife's car (wife was an attractive blonde but had a gummy smile) and figured she was there so he'd wait. She came to the door maybe 10 minutes later in a very small bathrobe, barely covering her vagoo (if she had a bush, it would have shown), and the robe tied so her cleavage would show.

She got pissed at him for not simply coming on in. Anyways, he goes in and she goes back to her bedroom to finish getting ready. He starts disassembling the cabs in the kitchen, brings tools in, etc. She calls him into her bedroom (she'd left the door open) and it was a real Graduate scene where she needed help with something and he refused to enter. He went back to work in the kitchen and was on his back, fiddling with the plumbing for the sink, and she came in, still wearing that robe, and stood over him while he was on his back and showed full-vagoo to bitch at him for not coming into the bedroom. He ignored her completely and kept working.

Funny stuff. I think she had it in her mind, some kind of fantasy thing, to fuck the contractor. Or she simply wanted to get back at her husband. Women are funny.

[Mcfly]

Again, I'll ask, what is your crutch??
PS Keep going with that Dlist is fat thing..doesn't faze me b/c I am not..

Well, it clearly does phase you. You've gotten so angry and defensive. Be careful, that much stress might give your fat heart some trouble.

[harlock]

I had a soda a couple years back and had a headache and felt like crap for 2 days...never again.. which is shocking b/c I got through college on Jolt cola and a snicker bar for breakfast..

I had one at a movie a few weeks ago, same thing,

You'll never miss it until it's gone.

I worry about this too

[Beth143nacho]

I'll keep my opinion in reserve but consider this. I'm a FedEx delivery driver.

So you're a drug dealer?

[yippeekyaa]

I have multiple stories of naked women on route to tell.

Walked up on the porch and this old lady with a cig dangling from her mouth stepped outside. Handed her the box, said have a nice day and went back to truck. As I'm leaving in the truck I hear a "WAIT, WAIT" screaming. I stop and look up and this lady is running down the driveway with box in hand. As she runs her bath robe comes untied and she's got full wall to wall carpeting showing and her boobs were literally bouncing off her knees. I roll down the window and she, with cig still dangling from her mouth asks......."don't I have to sign for this?". I didn't say a word, rolled up the window and left while trying to get the image of her boobs bouncing off her knees from my mind.

[yippeekyaa]

So you're a drug dealer?

Biggest distributor in the county and nothing the cops can do to me about it.

[DlistCelebutard]

Well, it clearly does phase you. You've gotten so angry and defensive. Be careful, that much stress might give your fat heart some trouble.

You are such a snoozer..not angry or defensive, and not fat..
But let me guess about you...your stepfather put you down early in life...you have a need to be 'better' than others..which means you have no self esteem...and putting down others makes you feel superior...you may or not live at home with your parents, but if you don't, you have a wife that you hate, and kids you tolerate...

[DlistCelebutard]

you spend too much time online...your kids, or step kids are probably drug addicts...and you wonder why...

[itpdude]

I have multiple stories of naked women on route to tell.

Walked up on the porch and this old lady with a cig dangling from her mouth stepped outside. Handed her the box, said have a nice day and went back to truck. As I'm leaving in the truck I hear a "WAIT, WAIT" screaming. I stop and look up and this lady is running down the driveway with box in hand. As she runs her bath robe comes untied and she's got full wall to wall carpeting showing and her boobs were literally bouncing off her knees. I roll down the window and she, with cig still dangling from her mouth asks......."don't I have to sign for this?". I didn't say a word, rolled up the window and left while trying to get the image of her boobs bouncing off her knees from my mind.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm such a sick fuck I'd be trying to remember every bounce of the granny-natties slamming on her knees. And the wall-to-wall carpet.

Fucking awesome!

[smichal]

wow crazy stories, guys.
keep 'em coming.
I just have nerd stories about men friends trying to put the moves on me. Nothing hot.
I like the holidays because it is a good break from work. I can't wait to read, rent movies, take naps, hibernate, go to the gym, etc.

[Mcfly]

You are such a snoozer..not angry or defensive, and not fat..
But let me guess about you...your stepfather put you down early in life...you have a need to be 'better' than others..which means you have no self esteem...and putting down others makes you feel superior...you may or not live at home with your parents, but if you don't, you have a wife that you hate, and kids you tolerate...

How can you say I didn't phase you when you went out of your way to write up a psychological profile of me? Hilarious!

[DlistCelebutard]

How can you say I didn't phase you when you went out of your way to write up a psychological profile of me? Hilarious!

Have some TV to watch my friend...outta this thread..but I can pretty sure guess I was spot on with my analysis...even tho you won't admit it..

[Mcfly]

Have some TV to watch my friend...outta this thread..but I can pretty sure guess I was spot on with my analysis...even tho you won't admit it..

Whatever you need to tell yourself to feel better about your fat ass.

[TheWakening]

I'll keep my opinion in reserve but consider this. I'm a FedEx delivery driver.

I'm reporting you to the nearest Fed Ex store to consider you as "The Employee of the Year" for that fucking Avatar. It's kept me busy all year long with joyous wonders.

[DlistCelebutard]

Whatever you need to tell yourself to feel better about your fat ass.

Keep going with the fat ass posts..your mother wishes you weren't born and your 4th stepfather hates you...true story.... I have some Dexter and Homeland episodes to watch...

[harlock]

Keep going with the fat ass posts..your mother wishes you weren't born and your 4th stepfather hates you...true story.... I have some Dexter and Homeland episodes to watch...

Is Dexter good this season? I got them saved up.

[DlistCelebutard]

Is Dexter good this season? I got them saved up.

It is good..lots of twists.

[harlock]

It is good..lots of twists.

[HorsetoothBeth]

If only I had Beth's maid Maria to put up a tree...cook the dinner, and Maria's brother serve dinner..

Consuella. And her husband Juan Pedro cleans the pool and nailed down the shingles during Hurricane Irene.

Here she is praying for health insurance. She has the ability to spot the Virgin Mary in the many slug-trails Beth leaves on the furniture.


And Juan Pedro.