Howard the Monogolist

[Ruffypup]

Gary drank a pound of elephant coffee....... Now his mouth just smells like elephant shit.

[Ruffypup]

[Chimney Portions]

Gary drank a pound of elephant coffee....... Now his mouth just smells like elephant shit.

It was even funnier when he went and explained the joke to us. Jokes are always funnier when they're explained.

[Humongous]

[Kamie]

I heard that when I was out at lunch. It doesn't get much worse than that.

[quitefrankly]

wondee whos gem that was

[Benjamen]

Did you hear about this? This was in the news today. The subway pusher in New York said voices in his head made him push a man in front of an approaching train.






What is it with these voices inside heads? Why can't they ever tell people to do nice things, like help an old lady carry groceries, or adopt from North Shore Animal League?





I understand Michael Richards just got a new TV show.






Yeah, it's on BET. Black people just throw stuff at him.





Did you hear this, this is true. In Canada, Pizza Hut just released a new fragrance that smells like pizza. I'm not making this up.






I understand Jason Kaplan already drank three bottles.

[chuk]

Gary drank a pound of elephant coffee....... Now his mouth just smells like elephant shit.

"Because before his breath smelled like many different animals so just smelling like one animal, specifically an elephant, means that it is actually an improvement."

[tv910]

I happened to turn the radio on in the middle of the elephant joke and I could tell right away it was one of the ghost-written stories that he supposedly read in the newspaper. It's funny how ridiculously obvious they are, he's a terrible actor and he can't read anything without stumbling over the words.

[chuk]

Howard: Gary drank a pound of elephant coffee....... Now his mouth just....
Robin: CACKLE, HOWARD, COFFEE DOESN'T COME FROM ELEPHANTS, IT COMES FROM A BEAN. CACKLE CACKLE
Howard: Now his mouth just smells like elephant shit.

[Scarfo]

They aren't even jokes... he's just sort of... saying things

[Benjamen]

Did you hear about this? This was in the news today. The pope has a new Twitter account. This is true.






Yeah, I understand his first tweet is gonna be, "Fuck the Jews."







And I read this in the paper today, this is true. Susan Boyle is looking for a boyfriend. She said she hasn't been able to date because of her busy schedule.






Yeah, that's the reason.






Did you read this in the paper? This was in the paper today. Jessica Biel says her new hubby Justin Timberlake has a secret talent: baking.






That's funny, I would've thought it was sucking cock.