The Real Reason Behind "Can I Depend On You?"

[ARM]

Just heard snipets of this bullshit over the weekend. Holy shit, who would imagine that Howard and Robin could possibly still make even bigger assholes of themselves than they already have to date?

Howard "didn't mean anything" by his choice of words and it was all Gary attacking him. Right. Because that explains Howard's comment that he "used to be able to depend on Gary" back when he was driving in with highways closing down behind him but not anymore, because "things have changed...I just can't depend on you anymore." Yup. Just choice of words there, no criticism or anger there at all. What an asshole that Gary is for attacking Howard.

By the way, how come Kimmel couldn't "depend on" Howard to say he was definitely going to make his show? Not dependable? Not a true friend?

Howard's done a successful radio show for 30+ years...so nobody can criticize him about how he treats his employees or for what he says to people. Right. Because nobody who's good at being a doctor or a lawyer, or a store owner, or the host of a fart-and-dick-joke radio show ever treats any employees like shit or makes a complete asshole outta himself. Impossibe to criticize any of them for how they treat people while being "successful." Got it.

Howard tells Richard he should have made it in and actually says "Robin made it in today" when she hasn't been anywhere close to the studio in half a year. Richard responds politely that Robin didn't really make it in because she's "working" from home. He's the asshole because she "worked" after a 12-hour surgery 6 months ago...and that, somehow, has something to do with whether or not "Robin made it in today" is a true statement and whether people should have protected their families and their homes from flooding and fires. Got it.

Fuckwad takes off practically all summer, works 3 or 4 days in some months, works 2 days some weeks, and takes off days before or after taping a stupid TV show he didn't have to sign up for in the first place. But the day that huge areas of NY/NJ are devastated by flooding and power loss and bridge closures, and massive traffic problems, and mass transit shutdowns, anybody who needs to get home and stay home in CT or NJ or in the NY boroughs destroyed is an irresponsible asshole. Got it.

Unfuckingreal. You'd be less of an asshole at this point to call yourself a "fan" of Paris Hilton or Snookie than a "fan" of Howard Stern.

Great post as usual Clumpy! Fantastic summation of Wigward's psychology. If you'd like to, take a listen to to the whole saga. I have it compiled from last week with all the discussions about the topic here. I'd love to hear your take on ALL of it!?!?....

[BethsZygote]

I love how one minute he says, don't worry about coming in. Then he turns and starts ripping on the guys for not coming in. That's called an asshole.

Actually thats called covering your ass so you cant get sued.

like Bigfoot jr saying he was gonna rape Heather Clem.

[ClumpyStern]

Thanks, ARM...but the only way I'm ever listening to 8 full hours of the HSS again is if I slip in the shower, break my back, and can't reach the phone or the radio until I'm rescued.

Left out one other thing: As much as Gary stood up for himself, he's still so pussified and abused by the HWIC over there that he thought it was important enough to make it in to a dying fart-and-dick-joke radio show the next day that he actually let his kid hold up a power line that "probably" wasn't live with a tree branch. Every concerned parent with an above-average IQ knows that downed power lines never hold a residual charge long after they're shut off and that broken tree branches never break unexpectadly or hold any moisture after a nice hurricane soaking. Only a relatively low-IQ parent with tremendous fear of a wig would have thought that was a risk worth taking.

[ARM]

Thanks, ARM...but the only way I'm ever listening to 8 full hours of the HSS again is if I slip in the shower, break my back, and can't reach the phone or the radio until I'm rescued.

Left out one otheer thing: As much as Gary stood up for himself, he's still so pussified and abused by the HWIC over there that he thought it was important enough to make it in to a dying fart-and-dick-joke radio show the next day that he actually let his kid hold up a power line that "probably" wasn't live with a tree branch. Every concerned parent with an above-average IQ knows that downed power lines never hold a residual charge long after they're shut off and that broken tree branches never break unexpectadly or hold any moisture after a nice hurricane soaking. Only a relatively low-IQ parent with tremendous fear of a wig would have thought that was a risk worth taking.

I get it clump, color me selfish, but I just wanna hear you blast off on Wigward because between your posts and your performance on the SFRT its ALWAYS a cerebral treat for me.